Somewhat myth-taken
Some clients and some friends have asked, “Isn’t this job very tiring? You listen to people complain all day”. Which is one way to look at it. There are some myths about the profession that come across that range from the amusing to the mis-informed.
Myth #1: Counsellors are sad because they are filled with other people’s woes
From the time I met my very first client, til today, I have always felt energized by client sessions. I really enjoy the work - being able to provide comfort and lighten someone’s emotional load just by being there for them.
As part of our training, we learn consistently that distance is key to being able to do our jobs. I care deeply for every client I see but in caring for them, I also recognize I cannot entwine myself with them emotionally.
Myth #2: Counsellors are supposed to help me solve my problems
Not exactly. The role of the counsellor is to create space and organisation in a client’s mind to tackle their own issues. Counsellors help shine a light on areas that clients may be blind to, maybe because of familiarity (it’s always been this way) or fear (it feels unsafe to explore where my feelings come from).
When I sit with clients, I am absolutely present for them. I listen to understand, I observe, and I hold space. As a counsellor, this is what a client needs. Not advice or problem-solving - because how could I solve someone’s problem on their behalf? Doing so would mean I was imposing my own judgement and value system onto their situation, something that would likely cause more harm than good. And counselling, like any other helping profession is bound by the first principle of ‘Do No Harm’.
Myth #3: Counsellors want to make you dependent on them so they can keep getting fees from you and will insist you see them more often than you need to
This is not just unethical, it would be downright annoying for everyone involved to keep engaging a client for whom counselling isn’t working. A good counsellor will frame your therapy goals together with you and suggest a cadence for therapy that is aimed at achieving these goals. Often I adjust cadence based also on what is realistic for clients in terms of time and financial resources available to them.
